Time Will Tell

Once again, a marvelous new astrophysical theory has descended upon us hapless, unenlightened wights from the hallowed confines of trusty academe. It is reported, or rather heralded as follows:

"Time Likely To End Within Earth's Lifespan, Say Physicists

There is a 50 per cent chance that time will end within the next 3.7 billion years, according to a new model of the universe"

This is all the more marvelous, to my mind at least, in that until now being remunerated for such a degree of universal, arrant lunacy (as I'm sure said physicists have been) would seem heretofore nigh unto a virtual impossibility. Indeed, new ground seems to have been broken yet again. Yours truly is truly nonplussed in awe at such powers of modern day science on display.