Today's Elites

Saturday, June 30, 2007

A curious method whereby to disprove the big bang

Now not to be overmuch ribald, but only a male ego could have idealized this kind of monstrousmoonshine bigness to begin with. Just as Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether were wont to prove in times gone by, the world as we surmise was begat with not a whimper but a bang. Aha! -- you say-- but where's the proof? But that brings us to yeast and fermentation does it not? I mean the proof in the pudding, of course. Silly boys. I'm talking inflation here -- and not that wag of a Socrates' baker's fart, either. Hold on, let's get to the premise, shall we. Now in the merest fraction of infinite time we shall not even know anymore that we came from this universe. What the? Ya, ya... this is so. In a trillion years give or take, (and what's a trillion among friends?) we will have lost the ability to know from whence we came. Balderdash, you say. Tut, tut, I say. Introducing straight from a simulation in Monte Carlo, or some such place, Drs. Kraus and Scherrer, I'm not making this up. (This study was supported in part by the US Dept. of Energy (or is it entropy?)) It seems that our cosmic event horizon will develop a robust case of astigmatism so we won't even know the rest of the now visible universe was even here in a trillion years, or so. Alack and alas. Woe is us. But wait... I have it. Let us redirect our hard earned cash from such mountebanks and create a new project for SETI. Let's give um some pizazz, shall we? Okay, so here goes. All we need now is a little note from about a trillion years ago, not a dissertation or treatise, mind you. Just a tidbit, scrawled on a post it note, if you will, of just what the universe looked like before we lost sight of it. (By we, I mean us sentient intelligent beings, of course... before we got bent out of shape.) Now how's that for a mission?

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