London Town is burning down
But Lords and Ladies never quail
If rot and ruin do them assail
They may rue to move from town
Now they say the Queen is ailing
"London Bridge" is surely failing
Oh dear! -- the King to be
Is a twit of the highest degree
Hark! What new melody do we hear?
Hollywood now comes to court--
Oh shite! 'Tis but to mock and fleer
The royal hope and plans abort?
The Queen a new stratagem doth embolden--
And so in dulcet tones with royal skill
She now proclaims peace and good will
Alas! Spoiled by yon cursed piano golden.
Ay me! The Prince has toppled upside down
'Tis no doubt an omen for the state's distress.
The Queen in regal dudgeon with Brexit mess
Is not amused in quondam jolly London town.
Prince Charles, he that wisely with plants communes
Alarum most dire to Commonwealth doth give--
The end is nigh! We have yet eighteen months to live!
Horrors. Climate science doth foretell the Druid runes.
Prince Andrew now flees the scene
Most vile obloquy 'tis daily written
The monarch's favorite thus smitten
New Annus horribilis plagues the Queen.
New year-- Oh woe! Oh lack-a-day!
What new ills ravage now the Queen?
'Tis said her pique now knows no stay
'Gainst Harry and Meghan lets fly her spleen.
In Royals' very bosom! Revolting show--
Abandon princely titles and go packing?
Harry, Meghan now mere commoners low?
The blood, the regal blood was lacking.
"Tis said Prince Philip whilom did proclaim
That deadly virus himself be reincarnate
To quash the peasants o'er breeding at the gate
How now Corona -- is his royal wish to blame?
The King to be is off his royal head
But now with virus he in bed
The name's the thing to crown the king--
Blasted irony where is thy sting?
Now comes the news, woe is she
The Queen must Buckingham
Depart all too unseemly
Her income lost to virus.. damn!
Now woe betide us: alarums sound!
The palace in discordant tumult black
The baleful fates lurk o'er the ground
Despised Parvenu! Royal blood dost lack!
The world quite out of shape hath spun!
Daddy's gone and Andy's on the run --
What cursed jackanapes is fate
Ye regal house to befoul so late?
The Queen hath spoke a warm
Refrain on Philip's passing.
Did she forget to say it plain
That he has with twinkle
In his eyen both hate and fleer
For lowly commoner?
Over there -- Smells across the waters?
Placid zones of peace and love
Do sometimes turn to fouler matters
The angels on high hold noses above
The Royal House is quite in tatters
Mayhaps yon devil has 'em in his glove.
A princely sum in barrister’s fees
The royal purse must now dispense.
Black pall cast o’er Queen’s jubilees
By grimy Prince Andrew’s foul offense.
Portentous laden, now the times
For those wouldst bow and scrape
Oblivious to all the heinous crimes
The unbidden cry goes forth- escape!
Ay me! The Queen is dead and buried!
The Royal dunce now takes the throne
Whose mental powers are harried-
What can we do but quake and moan?
Tis said that Andrew wept to learn
Royal duties no more a thing-
If only those tears were to turn
To daggers- Andrew would be King.
“What is Netflix?” saith the King
“Bitter gall it sure does bring!
“What race this Meghan viper she
“That casts a curse on Harry and me?”
My poor verse now all in tatters
The succession is all that matters.
'Twould seem somethings here afoot
Bonny Prince Andy now wants his loot.
King Charles now is crowned.
And ere now I’d have frowned
With epithets full of bile -
But now methinks to smile
To see them put their stamp on
A king who’d rather be a tampon.
(Written During the Late London Riots,updated upon News of Queen's being "under the weather," 2018 Christmas chat, Prince Philip crash, Queen's warning on Brexit, Prince Andrew cum Epstein issue, now Meghan & Harry, et tu?, Philip goes viral, Charles in bed with virus, Tourists flee the castles, the Oprah interview, Philip deceased, Andrew flees the law, The Queen eulogizes Philip, Harry and Meghan smell a rat, Andrew’s legal bills, God save the Dunce, Andrew plots his return. Netflix attacks. Andrew refuses to move. The coronation.)
(What Are My Bids Sothebys?)
NFTs available upon request
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